Are Men Really from Mars?
I was zero years old when I learned that there is a difference between a man and a woman!
Of course, I knew about our distinct anatomies and a man’s muscle strength.
But it never occurred to me that we don’t think the same way because of our respective genders!
I wonder how I went through 36 years of marriage in blissful ignorance!
Challenging Early Beliefs
Before I got married, I was a fan of Simone de Beauvoir and her book, The Second Sex. I thought, like she said, that the differences between boys and girls were merely societal constructs.
So, after giving birth to my two daughters, I went on to apply her theories: No “girl toys” or “boy toys” for them. They were allowed to play whatever game they wanted—except gun toys. I hated the idea of mimicking violence.
Even though, as a child myself, I fondly remember playing with wooden swords with the neighbors’ two boys! But swords are a thing of the past, while guns, on the other hand…
A Sudden Realization
So, until recently reading Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by Dr. John Gray, I truly believed that men and women were both human beings—and that was all there was to it!
I couldn’t have been more wrong! And apparently, I am not the only one; otherwise, all couples would have stopped the usual car arguments by now!
An Eye-Opening Conversation
When I spoke about this with my adult daughter, I was surprised to hear that she already knew about the need to stay silent when a man is in the driver’s seat!
“How did you learn that?” I asked her.
“Observation,” she replied. “Sitting in the back seat with you and Dad in front has taught me a lot. Same with my couple friends. When a male friend is driving me, I know I have to keep quiet about his operating.”
So much wisdom in my daughter!
I knew nothing about keeping quiet until today!
Why Keep Quiet?
Why would you stay silent when someone is not behaving like a normal person?
Because Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus, that’s why!
What Dr Eggerichs and Dr Gray are explaining is the ingrained spirit of Conquest you find in Men. If you don’t acknowledge it, you will not be able to get along with a Man. For you, finding a parking spot is a trivial matter, but for him, it is a quest, which means a long or arduous search! While you want to park anywhere and get out of the car as soon as possible, he is on a mission, that he must accomplish by himself!
Dr Gray goes on saying that a man would rather die than ask for directions, he would prefer going around in circle ten times before surrendering.
It all makes sense to me now!
Why does nobody teach us about this? So many relationship problems could be avoided!
Better Late Than Never
To be honest, I am sure I read Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus when it came out in 1992. It was the rave back then. But I don’t remember much of it. It did not impact me then as it does now.
As they say: “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
Well, better late than never!
It is true that, today, distinctions are fading away, but we have not reach there yet, at all!
So, for now, it is not too late to let go of all the resentment accumulated over the years, with a better understanding of the two different species that we are as men and women.
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